Many boys are prone to making mistakes in the process of pursuing someone. They like to consider issues from their own point of view, thinking that the other person likes this kind of love. The biggest problem in the relationship between the sexes is that they are accustomed to using their own feelings to love, but ignore the real needs of the other party.
You are full of enthusiasm, but she is disappointed; you are full of expectations, but she cannot understand, and the spark of love has not been ignited after all. When chasing girls, you must master the method. Wrong methods are doomed to failure.
1. Too humble love
In the movie "Your Wedding", Zhou Xiaoqi pursues You Yong Ci's entire youth can be said to be extremely humble.
In order to have more opportunities to interact with You Yongci, he joined the girls' club and became the only boy in the girls' club.
Knowing that You Yongci wanted to see fireworks for her birthday, but was unable to do so, he staged a fireworks show for her without telling everyone;
Although You Yongci accepted it because he was moved Zhou Xiaoqi's pursuit, but the two still did not reach the end.
This is how feelings are, wishful thinking requires a willingness to admit defeat.
If you are too humble in a relationship, over time you will feel like you are giving, and you will want to get something in return from the other person.
If the other party does not give you a corresponding response, there will be a gap in your heart, and you may even blame the other party.
The love you beg for on your knees will not be understood, will not be accepted, and will not last.
2. Clingy love
Is it okay for lovers to stick to each other?
Lovers sticking to each other is a kind of dependence, and this way of getting along really helps the relationship.
But everything must have a degree, and the same is true for feelings.
Men who are too clingy tend to lose themselves. You will be anxious because she did not reply to your message in time, and you will worry about gains and losses because of the wrong words she accidentally said.
From the other party’s perspective, what she felt was not love, but restriction.
There is a debate question in "Qi Pa Shuo": Is "Shi Bao Lian" a kind of tyranny?
Jiang Sida said: People who have been asked to "Shi Bao Lian" for a long time are equivalent to Time and spirit are controlled.
When you are walking, you have to think about replying to the other person's message, when you are eating, you have to think about replying to the message, when you are taking a shower, you have to think about replying to the message... Even when you sleep, you have to keep your phone open. You are always nervous and afraid. I accidentally missed the call and message.
If it goes on for a long time, your relationship will become an abnormal state. You will feel wronged, and she will feel that you are unreasonable.
3. All-inclusive love
Some men think that women like domineering presidents who do everything for them without asking anything.
In fact, you can just watch this kind of overbearing president-style love in TV dramas. Not all women are like this.
All love is based on the feelings of the other person and yourself.
Love is not about you blindly abusing yourself to cater to others, nor is it about you being self-righteous and turning a deaf ear to other people's requests.
What the other person really needs and what kind of relationship she wants are what you really care about and understand.
I remember reading this story:
A girl accidentally told her boyfriend that the new computer bought by her colleague was quite good.
As a result, a few days later, it happened to be Valentine’s Day, and the boy bought a computer directly online for the girl.
When the girl received the computer, she was surprised, but she was not happy.
She said: "I just want to share it with you. I don't want you to buy a computer. Besides, I just bought my computer and I don't need to replace it."
Finally, the computer It was returned. The girl didn't receive the gift she liked and was very unhappy.
This kind of domineering love does not apply to all women. Sometimes it is self-defeating and makes things worse.
Some people say: Love is two people doing a lot of boring things.
I want to say that love means being willing to change a lot for the other person.
As human beings, we are not perfect, but because of that person, we are willing to become a better version of ourselves. This may be the charm of love.
